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There are two kinds of first dates: awkward ones, and ones where time flies and before you know it, you’ve been nestled in the corner of a bar for four full hours talking about anything and everything. Here, find twenty queries for your first encounter that will help you get to know your date, discern your compatibility, and spark engaging conversation. Another tip to keep in mind: “You want to ask open-ended questions that encourage full responses rather than short yes or no answers.” And don’t ignore his or her body language when they answer, either: Here’s how to Read Your Partner’s Mind with These 10 Body Language Tells.

“Social media can often be like an addiction, and if someone spends more time sharing on their social media (or on the flip side, refuses to share anything at all), you may learn more about what a relationship might be like with them.

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“This question doesn’t probe too much, but does give you an idea if you are dealing with someone that shares your view of leisure and travel.” “If you’re looking for someone who will center you, you’re going to want to know how much they value time with others and how much alone time they’ll need,” Lioi says.

Plus, if you’re the kind of person who needs time on your own, it’s important to know before you get in too deep whether you’re dating someone who mostly likes to be around others.

“Inquiring about your date’s feelings about a job gives insight into that person’s passions, priorities, and values,” says Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.

“Does your date work at this particular job for the money? Are they motivated to go on and do other things, or are they content with what they have now?

” “If your date responds by saying, ‘I’ve known my best friend since kindergarten,’ or ‘I have a dog and a cat and an apartment full of plants,’ then you can be pretty secure that your date doesn’t have any major commitment issues.” “Ask your date an innocent question like where they spent their childhood to gain some insight in their upbringing and their family situation,” suggests Margaux Cassuto, relationship expert and founder of matchmaking service Three Matches.

“Share your own story to encourage them to be forthcoming.“Knowing who they choose to surround themselves with will help you learn more about who they are as an individual. Do they mostly spend time with people who like to drink with them? Getting to know a bit about their social circle will help you get to know them without asking 101 direct questions that may cause your date to feel like it’s an interrogation.” How much time someone spends with their relatives can tell you a lot about them and what your life might be like if you continue to date them.“Is this a person who is very family-oriented and heads home for every Memorial day, baptism, and bat mitzvah?Before you roll your eyes at this question for being boring and generic, hear us out.“How your date answers this question can reveal a great deal about whether they are well-rounded and enjoy many interests or are just focused on work,” Derrichs says.If you don’t know what they do for a living, you don’t have to straight up ask them.

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