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However any attention at all, or the granting of any second, third and multiple chances is only handing the narcissist further narcissistic supply – the narcissistic drug: “The ability to affect another person and get their energy grants me significance.” Hoovering plays a HUGE role in the cycle of violence. then this is followed by a period of CALM and the cycle continues all over again.The horrible thing about the cycle of violence is that the abuse intensifies and the cycle becomes tighter and tighter and more frequent.
If this is not the case, it is because the narcissist still wants something from you – possessions, money, status, contacts or sex because other sources are momentarily low.
Many people over the years have stated about the narcissists in their life, “Why doesn’t he or she leave me alone? ” Then of course, many people have been incessantly checking their emails, phones and answering machines that the narcissist will contact them.
This formula has been identically witnessed within this Community time and time again.
This is why it is so important to realise that when people cross the line into conscienceless, non-empathetic pathological behaviour – they have left their soul behind.
Rather than acquiesce to the pressure of the reactions of those around them – in order to self-reflect and reform – they create greater defences and bigger self-maladaptation instead.
The narcissist’s False Self cannot stand being held under scrutiny, because it is above reproach.
” Why do they come up with phony excuses to contact you, in order to attack your weak spots (which of course he or she has studied and known for some time) such as guilt, or defending yourself with justifications against bogus claims, and why does this person text or say things by email that are guaranteed to get your head spinning trying to work out “What on earth did that mean?
” Why narcissists keep acting out the same behaviour – the cycles of “I want you,” and then repeatedly devalue and discard you?
The hoovering generally happens when you are not making contact, and at times when you are trying to get on with your life.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating