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But if you can see past your own hurts and desires, you’ll see men everywhere trying to fill emotional voids through their actions and achievements.

When you can accept him as he is, you start to show him a path towards filling that void.

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There are times where one person will get their act together because they’re afraid to lose something good or they’re determined to win something good.

But I can’t think of a time where the insecurity of one partner inspired a change in the other partner.

In many cases, the void that people feel is caused by a feeling of separateness – a feeling that we don’t belong and aren’t acceptable.

When men act out in whatever way they act out, you’ll find what I just described at the heart of the matter: a deep feeling of separateness, insignificance and undesirability.

and the moment you start bluffing about how much you’re willing to tolerate, he knows you’ll tolerate just about anything. Because if you’re afraid enough to lie about your limits, then it’s pretty likely that you don’t actually have limits you’re willing to enforce. Fear that this guy is the one true love of their life.

Do you know what’s at the core of why women put up with behavior they find unacceptable? The reality of it is that if you want to mentally and emotionally be in a place where you have any say in your relationship, you have to diminish your fear of loss.

It’s not like one morning he just went out and started having sexy flirtations with other women all of a sudden and you were shocked. but secretly you hoped and believed that he would change for you.

And now, a little over a year into the relationship you’re disappointed that he’s still the same guy… People do this all the time, but it doesn’t make it right or sane.

you don’t know his motivation or what he “gets” from it.

Instead, you’re focusing on how YOU feel about it and that YOU don’t like it. You can feel hurt and victimized or you can open your eyes to the bigger picture…

When you can recognize what he “gets” from his behavior and you can truly understand him as a man, you might not take his actions personally anymore.

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